I don’t know why this has been on my mind so much lately….maybe because September is getting closer…But I feel the need to just write about it and get it off my chest ( not off my mind because it will never leave my mind )…anyways here it goes…It was a BEAUTIFUL September day for some reason I can picture the way the sky looked perfectly…it was a normal weekend just like any other …we got Matt's dad’s truck and loaded it full of trash and things to take to the dumpster…Matt’s little brother Chris wanted to tag along so we let him…wish we wouldn’t have….we were headed out 262…Matt said he didn’t want to take the highway…I think God chose that path for us…. pretty soon a bunch of bikes passed us….they scare me to death..More so now after that day…. There was a truck in front of us…..we hadn’t even made it out of Rising Sun when the truck in front of us slammed on it breaks….all I remember is tires screeching…..the next few seconds happened so fast they are kind of a blur….I don’t even remember who realized two motorcyclist had wrecked in front of the truck….I grabbed my cell….and called 911 without even thinking…. And told Chris to stay in the truck with Ashton….I walked around the truck in front of us…that image is permanently engraved in my head forever….it haunted me for months…..I saw two bikes laying on the road…one male was getting up and brushing himself off the other laid lifeless in the ditch…..to be honest I thought he was dead…..his eyes where open, I remember that so clearly…I had never seen a dead body in that “form” it caught me off guard…everyone was just staring at him…I ran over and grabbed his hand, something inside me told me to….I said without even thinking if you can hear me squeeze my hand…………..I felt a weak hand grip mine….my stomach sunk…thank god…..I then said if you can breathe squeeze my hand…..again a weak squeeze…..he was starting to become alert but was in shock and it kills me to think about how much pain he was in and what was going threw his head…..he was in shock….I wish now I would have covered him up…with anything…..his friends had turned around and were coming back….I was still holding my phone against my ear….I told him the ambulance is coming…..he still had his helmet on and I can remember so clearly the look of fear and pain in his eyes….he was moaning loudly and could barely talk….when the truck in front of us heard me say that police were on their way they left…..they had a truck full of beer….I don’t remember this but was told about it later….wonder if they know he died…..I just remember talking to him…telling him my name….and saying I was right here….and just held his hand….I kept asking him where it hurt and he would point to his chest….. the dispatch told me not to remove his helmet but he fought his friend and I and his friend eventually gave in and pulled it off for him….I told him to lay still because he could have a possible neck and back injury…he pulled his knees up in pain…. Soon a deputy came he ran over and began to hold his head still…he asked if I was a EMT…I said no but I’m in school for medical assisting...he said every little bit helps…..well I sure felt useless…..soon the paramedics came….I had to leave his side so they could work on him….I let go of his hand and slowly stood up….he looked at me with fear and reached his hand back out for me….I yelled you’re going to be ok….I wish now I would stayed by his side…..I cry thinking about it and feel guilty as hell for it……I remember standing back watching them cut his clothes off and listening to him yell….I looked down and I had blood all over my hands…I walked over to the ambulance and they washed them off for me…my husband later told me the blood was from his hands..I had taken his gloves off for him because he said his band hurt….I didn’t remember…..they loaded him up in the ambulance and I remember thinking he is going to be ok…I walked over to his friends they hugged me and said thank you….I told them please be careful….we all stood and looked at his bike……I talked briefly with the deputy and we left…..we saw a girl on bike on the way there she looked confused and lost…matt stopped and asked her if she was ok…she said she knew the man and needed to get to the hospital…we told her they would be air caring him probably to UC and gave her direction….I always think about her and how he never made it to the hospital…..we later found out he didn’t even make it to the helicopter…he passed minutes after leaving my side on the way up the hill…..I later found out he was engaged…but never learned his name…..why didn’t I ask him his name? Why? After finding out he passed I sat in my truck and bawled…why didn’t I do more…why didn’t I do this or that….I had a million questions….that day changed me….and I’ll never forget it…..when I drive down 262 I still picture it and think I’m going to see him…he is in god’s arms now……. RIP……
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